At the beginning of this year, I promised myself I would change everything I didn’t like about my life and the way I was living. These were obviously things within my control. Those outside my control, however, I did not just ignore but rather accepted. While I changed my behaviour, my diet, my exercise regime, my style and my hair colour, the biggest change is the choice I made to eliminate certain (poisonous) people from my life. People have often said to me, sometimes you have to let people go if they bring you nothing but misery. You need to find a truth in everyone and then judge whether that truth is worth holding on to. With old friends this is easy. Especially when you haven’t spoken for two or three years. When it comes to family however, this becomes difficult and I was always scared to say goodbye because it would put a strain on my parent’s relationships with these family members. But I did it! Yep! I was invited, not too long ago to a family gathering and I realised how much I actually dreaded going. I asked myself, who am I going for? Them or me?
I always wanted to be the good girl who respected all family members. The golden child that parents tell their children about. But after some talks with Rita (from kinesiology) I questioned my motives. If I really thought about it, I was going for them and not me. I always felt like I had to put on a front so they could perceive me in a certain way…as someone other than myself. But once I analysed the situation, I came to conclusion that half these people didn’t care for me (family or not). All they wanted is the next gossip story or to see whether you are successful or if they can ‘one up’ you. And every time I find myself in the same situation where I pretend to be this perfect person even though I feel like shit. I asked myself why? Why do I put myself through this? Why apply happiness demerits so easily? So I told my mum that I would not be attending the gathering and she understood. I need to grow as a person, and I need to figure out how to live my life, without certain people dragging me down or making it more complicated.
After that I stopped all contact with certain people, I stopped attending events and even blocked them on social media. At the end of the day, I believed them to be negative people who bring dark energies to my auras and I refuse to deal with that voluntarily. It has been some months now and guess what, I haven’t heard from any of those people I cut out. Go figure.
I thought I would share this story with all of you, for comfort and understanding. This is especially for those of you who are forced to socialise with people who make you feel unappreciated and unwanted. I have started to believe that family doesn’t really exist as something you are born into. Like religion and culture, you can change these things. You can create and build your own family. At the end of the day, I define family as those who love, support and respect me no matter what. Not those who find any chance to belittle me. To them I say good day!